Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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