Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
