ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
