We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
