ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize