shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
