I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
