dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
