All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
