Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
