She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
