you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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