I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
