Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You just made me feel so damn special
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
