i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
