I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had to cum in my sink.
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