Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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