i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
