Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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