There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
