just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
