I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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