He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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