So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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