WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
