you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
