I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
