She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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