I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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