i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
