my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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