I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
