So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize