Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
