Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
