Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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