a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
