four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
