found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize