P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
