It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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