I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
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You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
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I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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