i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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