I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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