She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
