I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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