he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
