apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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