I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize