Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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