Im at strip club and am horny
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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