Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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