I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i now understand why vodka
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
