she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
