Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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