The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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