let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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