i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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