When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
