i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize