I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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