you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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