so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
