It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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