like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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